Miss Kitty finds a lover and fails to dodge the bullet.

I received an email recently with beautiful photographs of flowers perched on stems chest-high to a giraffe. This was the explanation of their presence:

 “Not bad for not doing any work to it this year… Imagine what it could look like with a little fertilizer and TLC!  ;-)” Sandy.

 And really, when I think about it, what else is there to add? (My aren’t they beautiful, I could say? Yes she might reply. I grew them from a dozen packets of Ferry-Morse garden seeds that have been hidden in the back of a kitchen drawer for thirty years. I ripped the tops off the envelopes, threw them into a bowl and mixed them and pitched them into a freshly spaded piece of ground next to the porch you see…….)

 Well, yes they were an attractive sight and they brought back some memories: Here is my response to Sandy’s email.

 I had a friend in Norman, Oklahoma many years ago Sandy, an architect At OU (now U of O) who landscaped his five acre lot with carefully selected weeds. For nine months every year his yard was beautiful. It changed in appearance from Spring until Autumn. He never had to fertilize or water or even edge the yard. He was very pleased with himself for what he had done to his property and frequently spoke of it when lecturing at the University. What he did not realize was that as the lush vegetation increased their lushness and the floral display grew as high as the eaves on the roof of his house, life in this new mini-jungle was thriving.

 This growing addition to his landscape became the home of quite a variety of creeping, crawly critters, among them a new breed of feline who till now had been feeding on the moles and boles and rabbits and such. But the kitty was morphing into an evolutionary nightmare. In fact she appeared almost human. Her forepaws developed a thumb and the facility of its more and more monkey-like tail gave the carnivore the means for seeking larger prey. She fed on coyotes for example and though she made this lovely beflowered acreage her home, she’d occasionally wander into the nearby wooded area and feast on the locals. Where the deer and the antelope played, the kitty monster preyed.

 One day my friend’s sister came to visit. When she failed to get an answer at the front door she returned to the weedy path and plodded toward the back of the house. As she walked past the dining room she looked into the window and screamed. She was heard throughout the surrounding countryside.  Soon after her noisy outburst, she was found collapsed on the path. The neighbors speculated on whether she screamed at what she saw though the window or what she saw on the path or both. But we do know that to those who turned to look, there could be seen the clean and shiny skeleton of a 6 ft male human on the dining room floor and there on the path another such set of remains of a female, the only clue to how either of them died being the shreds of torn clothing that littered the death scenes. The end 

PS: Ms. kitty was caught and sheltered in the Lincoln Park Zoo in Oklahoma City. A month after internment, there were found the scattered remnants of four human skeletons and that of an adult Labrador. Later in the day Ms. kitty was found in the throes of romance with an escaped male tiger. They were both shot and killed during the peak of raw animalistic ecstasy. That’s all I remember.


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