Last night on Letterman’s Late Show, Dave cracked a joke about the way he had greeted a lady named Jane (Jayne). He told his audience that he had been greeting this lady by saying “Hi Jane” but that in his mind he was thinking “Hi Jayne”. “But now” he told us I‘ve finally gotten it right. Now, when I greet her and say to her ‘Hi Jane’ I am thinking “Hi Jane.” The joke was so well received that he continued milking applause with the same joke throughout the show. It was just a joke. Or was it?
Regardless of how it was intended this short dialogue demonstrated a valuable lesson; the importance of being honest. We do not limit our communication skills to the use of words. Whether we speak with others does not determine by itself, the messages that we send. In fact, when we are conscious we are constantly sending messages. Our unconscious mind holds reign over our emotions, our inner messages and actually communicates with the rest of our body before knocking on the door of our conscious mind. It tells our legs when they need to be crossed when seated and in what direction, it diverts our attention to the sound behind us as we attempt to look as though we are focused intently on the person in front of us as they speak.
Always we are sending at least two messages; one is what we are saying with our bodies. Another is what we say when we speak. Hopefully, if our intentions are clear and we have no hidden agenda, the two messages will emerge congruently. But wait. There may be more to this story. Many social scientists believe that we actually send messages with an undiscovered sense. Though it cannot as yet be proven, there is an abundance of compelling evidence available at least from testimonials of message going to and fro between us in an extra-sensory manner. I won’t delve into the subject because it is so compelling, at least to me, that the subject of honesty is sure to be lost.
Perhaps that is why the new age of electronic conversations has become so popular. It certainly removes all the giveaway signal s that can be revealed when in the presence of another. Even a telephone quickly reveals the mood or temperament of another.
My point is that it might be a good idea to make little spot checks of ourselves to make certain that our intentions with others are honest. At least that’s what I think. What do you think?