The Apology

My first experience at eating dirt occurred during my fourth year. I was playing in the back yard of the Madison Street house. My friend Jerry Hagee from the house next doors had come to visit. We were making mud pies.  I’d  found some roley- poleys and decided that they looked a lot like raisins after they had rolled their little armadillo-like shells into a perfect ¼ inch ball. The loamy soil made great mud and the warm day provided enough adequate heat for “baking” these yummy looking creations. I’m not certain what convinced me to cross over from  make-believe to reality-show mentality but my enthusiasm for sampling these three-inch round roley- poley cookies was all it took to convince Jerry to give it a go. My sales-close was that we had to try these ourselves before offering them to our mothers. That was a mistake. Sadie Hannah Marie Oakes-Broom demanded that I go next door and apologize. And I, like the good little boy that I was, went out the back door and with Mother’s assistance who unlocked the gate for me, walked out and across the driveway. I was headed for the front door but Jerry was standing at the fence seeking my attention which I gladly turned in his direction. He wiggles his finger which meant “come a little closer Lee, I have a secret to share with you.” I sidled on up and Jerry said “just a minute” and he turned his back to me. In a few seconds he turned around with his penis in hand and sprayed me with a built up power-jet of nasty, nasty urine which got all over me of course.

I wish I could remember the rest of this story.  

Oh yes. The mud pies were delicious, though I had to spit out the little round bugs because they unrolled themselves when the saliva hit and they were trying desperately to run for a safer place than inside a little boy’s mouth, and that’s what it was that I wa supposed to apologize for. I never did though. Mother seemed to agree that the piss attack was punishment enough.

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