Is it possible for two good people to love each other yet bring out the worst in each other? The answer for Bill and Sadie is “YES”.
Let’s take a look at this couple; their names are not Bill and Sadie, of course but that’ll do for now.
Both Bill and Sadie are perfectionists; each insists on being right. This alone would prove calamitous in most situations but with Bill and Sadie this problem is a bit more sophisticated. Each you see, has a very different definition of the concept of right.
Bill is annoyingly logical. He has a fear of being wrong so he accepts nothing on face value. Each increment of information whether sought or brought to his attention by an outside source must pass logical muster. To Bill, being Right means being Correct.
Sadie has some logical skills though minimal at best. What she does have is a huge storehouse of memorized information the size of which Bill would not be able to comprehend. Sadie has a fear of appearing to be dull-witted. To Sadie, being Right means being The Winner of the argument and therefore safe from her worst fear, at least for the moment.
Bill’s fear is more practical. He feels responsible for everyone around him. He believes, because of an illogical childhood emotional artifact that the safety of those around him depends on his decisions. He must be right so he trusts no information; rather its logical rating.
Each of these two people is of above average intelligence. And, each of them often appear to each other, to be brain-dead.
Both of these people are dear to me and I worry about them.
Perhaps you have run into a similar situation and have witnessed a solution.
If so I would appreciate a comment.