True Love expects nothing in return.
Of myself I know nothing about doing anything without expecting something, some small reward, perhaps a very large reward, an imagined reward, which accompanies everything that I do, even if I’m not aware of it at the time. I know this is so because if you fail to treat me in the same “loving” way that I treat you I become upset and afraid, perhaps even physically ill.
Even those more obvious feelings may be hidden from me under a veil of self-righteous anger. But in a fleeting moment of clarity I will know that my suffering has nothing at all to do with Love or the lack thereof and that my bowed back or my intestinal distress is a reminder of the disappointing lack of control over my environment which was meant to be assured by the uncanny wisdom of my expectations which tell me that since I am the Center of my Universe, surely everyone else in this world of mine lives by my set of rules.
Do you recognize yourself in these statements? If you do, I congratulate you. And if on the other hand you are one of those rare and fortunate individuals who was never harmed as a child, never scolded and who was treasured as your family’s most precious commodity, I congratulate you also for I know that those who follow in your footsteps are less likely to ever experience the pain which is necessary for so many of us as the first step to Freedom.
Between the lines in the preceding paragraphs is an implied belief that I am potentially at least, a Lover. Really? So, why am I unable to Love at the drop of a hat? Everything we do is said to begin with a decision, even if that decision occurs below the level of awareness. I have decided many times to Love someone. There are times when that decision is directed toward myself. I have never succeeded at this.
But I know Love.
How can one do ANYTHING without expecting something in return?
The truth of the matter is that in the Natural World one cannot do ANYTHING without expecting something in return. If one did a survey of the general population one would probably find a certain percentage of those surveyed who claim to often do things for others without expectation.
However, if another survey were done of another randomly selected group of people from the general population with questions designed to determine a level of self-awareness below normal, that percentage would probably be about the same as for those who lied to themselves about being unselfish.
So, how do we experience Love?
This seems to be as good a time as any to interrupt this confusing bit of prattle with a story about the two greatest Loves of my life.
a story about the two greatest Loves of my life.
The first such memory was on my second birthday. I know it was before my brother’s birth who is two years younger than I. i was two years old and twelve days before my brother’s birth. The occasion on this twelfth day of June in 1941 was my birthday party. My mother. my father and I were in the back yard of my Great Aunt Sadie’s and Uncle Dixie’s home. My mother who was in most ways thin and quite beautiful had a large belly and she was rubbing herself on this part of her anatomy. My father and I were playing tag and Father tagged me, grabbed me and threw me high into the sky. My heart pounded with joy as I sucked in air which expelled with a whooshing sound as I landed in Bobby Lee Senior’s hands. I wanted to do this again but instead, Father firmly grabbed my hands and began spinning himself around. As he did so the resulting inertia caused my small body to begin lifting higher and higher till my feet were level with my head.
This was exciting but not nearly as much fun as being thrown into the blue, summer sky. Suddenly there were three family members chattering and chiming in to chirp our own chitty-chat.
Leesy: Higher, Father. Throw me high.
Mother: Stop it Bob, before you hurt him.
Father: Okay, okay, I’ll stop in a minute.
Full of Life.
Desire and Joy becoming One.
Absolutely no fear at all.
Twenty years later as I looked at my newborn daughter Dixie, I met the second True Love of my young life. This was not the tainted Love that I felt for her mother. This was exactly the same feeling that I had for my father before the events at Pearl Harbor took him away.
This sudden rush of loving adoration occurred within me as I met my son Bill a year later and baby sister Mary and a later baby sister named Candaice. Those feelings were not confined to those youngsters who shared my DNA; I would share space with five more children with different fathers and mothers before my child raising days were over. I felt this same love for them all. One of my stepdaughters, Stacy died a couple of years ago. Part of me died with her.
So where did the love for these children come from? Why do we often refer to a process called “falling” in Love? I have never met anyone who claimed to be able to turn Love on and off like a light switch.
I and hundreds of others who have learned this lesson “the hard way” know that there are two ways of experiencing undeniable Love. Those who are more spiritually equipped to do so practice and reaffirm a daily habit of accepting Love. Others of us perform Loving acts of kindness. At first we do this with a variety of different expectations but as our thirst for service to those in need becomes a part of our daily life, our love of ourselves begins to appear. Eventually it becomes difficult to distinguish a difference between the Love and respect that we now have for ourselves and that which we have for the rest of humanity. Our motto: “Accept the Love and Pass it on.”
From True Love – Total Knowledge by Lee Broom.