I wrote this back in October of 2011 as I recall but since it appears that it never got posted, here goes.
So here I am, doing my Saturday morning crossword puzzle. I do the United Feature grid because it serves a much greater purpose in my opinion, than all those puzzles that can only be solved easily by Mensa members or by ordinary people like myself with the aid of brilliant search-engines. I have just returned from a breakfast gathering of Recovering Orphans of the Great Hazy and I am ready to greet the day.
Usually by this time of the morning I have made a list of ideas gathered from the crossword and added to my growing list of human traits and attributes but today I discover I am still in Yesterday. In searching for that niggling, invisible tap on the shoulder I run across an email from fellow orphan Fred who is talking about the composer Phillip Glass. Since I already had a list of keywords for my morning rabbit hunt, I made Phil the head rabbit and put him at the top of my list.
I enjoy discovering from time to time, new ideas from earlier role models. But I was stunned (I stun easily but this was serious). I had no idea how much my life had been influenced by Philip Glass. But the greatest shock of all was the amount of work that I discovered and filed under the heading of Composers and Filmograhy on behalf of Phil Glass in five minutes time. I then spent a half hour or so listening to some of his creations, closing my eyes and creating go-with scenes from nature and not so nature (last week it was Rachmaninov, the week before, Debussey, the week before that was Ravel.)
And, then I began to read something from yesterday’s post about how I had spent 50000 hours over a period of 35 years creating a body of work that could be studied in its entirety in a week. And my shoulders slumped. My head was hanging down. Fortunately this arthritic body of mine could not tolerate that postion for long so I got up and fixed a bowl of home made soup, the last bowl from the week’s supply. And I thought about why Phil could set down to a compose a masterpiece in fifteen minutes.And yes I know that it is illogical to compare the likes of me with such a genius but I could not resist. My genius is in my perfectionism. And the destructive relic that I brought with me from the Big Hazy is also my perfectionism. I too, can create a masterpiece in fifteen minutes. Whether it is enjoyed by one person or a million is not the point. The fact remains that in order to make that new creation ready for publication takes from one to eight hours. And if the idea is worth the trouble and I have the nagging feeling that something is missing, I will spend an entire week if necessary editing, reading it aloud, editing some more, reading it to a trusted friend and yes, more editing.
I honestly do not know if I discovered a strength or a weakness, But even if my Gift is garbage the most important discovery is of myself. Good or bad this is who I am. Thank you reader for sharing the moment.”